woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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