Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
