I hate your face
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
