so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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