I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
