; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
