I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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