you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
