he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
