Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
