How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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