White coat. Heels.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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