fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
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I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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