My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
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She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
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I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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