how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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