Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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