ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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