please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
