grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
