I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Michael Bay diarrhea
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
