Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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