i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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