..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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