ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
