Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize