..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Randomize
