Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
