I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
