You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize