i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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