everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
