a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
