It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
