i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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