what day is it and did you see me today?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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