I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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