Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize