I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize