Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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