I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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