So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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