That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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