So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
