I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize