If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
