and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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