grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
