Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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