Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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