We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
