just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I smell like Dick and happiness
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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