my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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