Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.