nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
foreskin is a definite game changer
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
