i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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