tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
