STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
