Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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