just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
