Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm so fucking centered right now
"it" just moved
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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