people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Randomize
